Dream Away

“All you good-doers lay your weary heads
Thorn filled pillows on feather beds
Sing your love songs on Sunday morning
Close your eyes and we'll
Dream away, my love knows no boundaries
Dream away

All you lonely hearts will you ever love
Diamond rings stained with red-rose blood
Sing your songs about valentine mourning
Take my hand and we'll
Dream away, my love knows no boundaries
Dream away

Shine your light
Can't see too good at night
But I know
I know where they come from
Where they go

All you still unborn hide your pretty faces
Mother's dirty nails don't care about you
Comatose in your private nightmare and
You're not far but one
Dream away, my love knows no boundaries
Dream away”

- the northern pikes


Ok, so I have been avoiding writing for the last days.

Luckily, its not like I have an avid readership or anything, so no harm done.

The last few months have taught me that I have a serious love/hate relationship with being alone – and also that I am far from being actually “alone” - which is a really great thing. I am blessed to have people in my life that are wonderful – I know that I am loved, even that I am indeed lovely. (wow that sounds pathetic as I read it back, true as it may be)

If you are reading this (and I am pretty sure you are at this point...) I hope that it is evident that I don't really like to bitch and moan about things. Honestly, I don't. Anyhow, I am realizing even more these days that there is a really fine line between knowing the right thing to choose and actually choosing it. I would like to think that I can make that choice correctly when required, but a large part of me thinks I am totally full of shit for thinking that. My ape brain self is still at heart a hedonist – and there are plenty of situations in life where it has a LOT of pull in my decision making. I suppose that this is true for a lot of us even if we choose not to admit it. Sure, we all want to believe that we are strong enough to be in control of our actions on a conscious level and that our decision making is unimpaired. Most of us are at least strong enough to take responsibility for those actions.

The real trouble is that we often mistake fear for strength. We cave into our base level, knee-jerk reactions and then justify ourselves after the fact by stiffening our spine and telling anyone who will listen what out reasoning was.

“they did blah, blah, blah.”

“they failed to do yadda, yadda, yadda”

“I couldn't do this because...”

It's all the same bullshit at the end of the day. We do what we do. Very few of us are in a situation where there is a gun to our head at decision time. We stand alone at that moment and we choose what we will do, whether or not we will consider the result; we choose our own outcome. Pinning our situation on another is not strength, it is the highest form of cowardice.