fracture

These days I am not good company, and that bothers me. It seems like all of the places I use to “compartmentalize” are full lately and I cannot put anything away without something else flooding into its place. Perhaps it can be attributed to a bit of indecision on the part of my sub-conscious; or, perhaps, not indecision at all. Perhaps it is just that I am not comfortable unless I am unhappy. Logic tells me to ignore it and that I don’t need to bother, but my heart knows what buttons to push before it locks the door. Either way I end up in the same place. Am I actually so flawed that the only reason I even pursue wholeness is so that I can see that it isn’t attainable?

**edited 11-18-08